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The library is open!

This is some of my published comedy writing, and I'm 100 % sure you'll enjoy them.

(Especially since you're behind a screen and won't be able to tell me otherwise.)

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1. “Only been on the market for 14 hours.”

2. “A must see.”

3. “Message to schedule a private showing.”

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If Frozen has been on constant replay in your home since 2013 and you can’t tell whether you walked into your kid’s room or a merchandise showroom, you’ll know the kind of suffering we’re talking about. So, here’s a handy guide that’ll help you keep Frozen 2 our little secret.

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“Women? Huh, how about that.“

“Houston, we have a problem, we can’t park the shuttle. HA!”

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“A woman? Huh, how about that?”

“Her scoreboard is bound to end up like all my attempts to reason with my wife: pointless!”

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Dear Academy

After seeing your nominations for this year’s Oscar contenders, I couldn’t help but notice that one movie was missing. A star-studded masterpiece that has more action, adventure, romance AND comedy than all the other nominees combined... ​

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“Shotgun!”

“Ride or die!”

“Oh thank god, a Volvo.”

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